sabbath

Mist lies heavy on the air, though not too heavy; just a breath of moisture, soft and teasing on the skin. It hangs in gauzy sheets and velvet ripples, through open space and over places where it seems that walls stand, obscured. It is less that there is water and more that there is the sense of water: the world seems to slide down in sheets and cascades, white and shadowed transparency like a world of pearl and crystal, a waterfall that is only a fall. It is soothing unto bliss. It is bliss itself.

He is warm, and safe. This is mostly accounted for by the arms that circle him, drawing him to a familiar enveloping body, wet-slick skin to skin in a cradle of flesh. It feels like some two dozen nights of better sleep than he's known in months, standing up but no less full of rest for it; the peace, the security, the comfort is the same, as is the still-pool sense of tranquility, wrapped around his mind, that sings Subaru, Subaru.

They lean on the sheltering wall of this cave that isn't, Subaru's back to not-stone, Kamui's chest to Subaru's, his damp hair tucked under the older man's chin and wet-heavy wings folded around both their sides. Sometimes where they are looks like other places he knows, changed and paled out in the white light and shadow. Sometimes it looks like nowhere at all, and it's almost better that way. He is with Subaru; that's the important thing, the one true thing. There is nowhere else in the world to be, and there is nothing that could call him away. A hand strokes his hair, and he breathes humid contentment onto warm skin; a thumb brushes his lips. Sanctuary is water and white.

He kisses the caressing skin, a bare pursing of his mouth, and is rewarded with the warm touch of lips on his forehead. His shy smile rests safe in the cup of Subaru's hand, as slender fingers curl under his chin, drawing his gaze upward. Subaru looks down at him, seriously, his green eyes veiled but kind... and then he smiles, with a tender warmth that makes Kamui's stomach flutter like a nervous bird and his skin prickle from the inside. For a moment, he is simply lost; Subaru's sheer beauty, inside and out, overwhelms him... and that it could be Kamui he smiles at that way, like there's no one else in the world who deserves a smile...

He is so entranced that he doesn't even realize the older man is bending in until Subaru's lips press to his.

First his eyes are wide, and then they close; his arms curl softly around Subaru, and he relaxes, sinking in this touch like the world falls in soft glass feathers around them. Subaru's lips are smooth and warm, and he tastes pleasantly of smoke -- cigarettes and incense -- and of the air by an ocean. And it seems like the most natural thing in the world to be kissing Subaru, no more than a warm and almost chaste caress of lips, but with that graceful hand wandering with contrasting intimacy along the lines of his throat, brushing the spots that make the boy's legs quiver and his wings shake. Natural, and perfect, everything he's wanted for so long. Everything he's dreamed of, dreams that let this possibility -- of touching, and being touched -- into his uncertain mind, and turned it into a desire. He wants Subaru, and the warmth of Subaru's skin. He wants him like a man lost in a desert wants water.

It never occurs to him that he might be dreaming now.

Kamui purrs, faintly, into the kiss, and he smoothes timid hands over Subaru's back, fingers tracing a landscape of flesh over bone. His wings shiver faintly, betraying his emotions as always: first his desire, and then his disappointment, as the other man's lips withdraw. Subaru's returning smile, however, cannot be resisted, and he doesn't even try.

"You're so beautiful," the older man murmurs, the first speech he can remember from either of them. The words ring softly off the edges of this small, private world, gentle echoes of themselves. "Like an angel..."

Kamui stares up at Subaru with wide eyes, shaky on his feet. His heart sounds too loud, and he is sure he must be flushed; but somehow, it doesn't matter anymore. "Thank you," he whispers, and can barely hear himself.

Subaru chuckles a little, the sound gentled by the kindness in his eyes. His hand, still resting its feathery touch on Kamui's collarbones, slides to the boy's shoulder and mirrors his exploring; he brushes the slope of a wing with his fingertips, eliciting a faint, pleasant shiver. It feels so good, almost curiously so, and he wants...

And just as he wonders if he dares restore the kiss, Subaru does it for him.

The touch of lips begins to change now, however: it deepens and softens at once, becoming something more forceful and yet more yielding, achingly sweet but somehow dangerous. Subaru teases Kamui's lips, nibbling and delicately darting his tongue, making it hard to think through the heat under his skin; a hand slides down Kamui's arm, tracing its lines, and the other rises to cup the boy's waist, drawing him nearer. Kamui's tongue brushes Subaru's, mostly by accident, as their hips close the distance between them, and he gasps softly against the older man's lips, briefly overwhelmed with sensation. So much, so much he's barely dared imagine, and all at once... and it's hard to keep his balance, outside and in, to keep from simply capsizing into feeling and need. Subaru's hand skims back up, and then gently wanders down Kamui's spine again, sensitizing the skin it passes into a prickle of gooseflesh. His fingers brush the area where a wing joins the body, and Kamui is unable to stifle the flutter and faint moan that come, blushing as he feels Subaru's smile against his lips.

The kiss pauses again after a few moments, as if to keep them both breathing in the heavy air, but Kamui has never felt more like drowning. He somehow keeps his eyes open as Subaru leans his forehead against his own; the older man's eyes are lit by his smile, and his apparent pleasure with the bliss he finds in the boy's features. Freed, Subaru's lips explore Kamui's cheekbone, his brow, and the soft spot between his eyes, and Kamui makes a soft, musical sound at their touch, clinging to Subaru with both arms and wings. He is light-headed with the affection, the wanting, the sweetness of being this close, and yet so at peace... and hard as he tries, he can't remember having been so happy in a long time. Too long.

Subaru tilts up his face, continuing the soft rain of kisses like unseen water; at last, they trace a path to Kamui's mouth, and now his tongue slides between the boy's lips without hesitation, gently parting them and again making his pulse come quicker. He tastes Subaru's mouth with a frank curiosity that nearly makes him blush, his hips pressing gently against the older man by half-restrained instinct. Subaru's hands slide down his back again and find the curves of his hips, pulling them gently but firmly against his own, and he shivers as the sensations of warmth and friction curl around his arousal. Subaru must, logically, be able to feel the insistent pressure of his erection, but somehow right now this isn't at all troubling, and there's nothing to be ashamed of. Somehow it's all right; somehow everything is all right. He is here, and with Subaru, and nothing can possibly be wrong.

The onmyouji's mouth drifts from Kamui's eventually, and moves along the line of the younger man's jaw, finding his earlobe and the soft hollow beneath it. Kamui hears himself whimper softly, not at all unpleasantly, as he arches his back into the touch and Subaru's body, his wings rustling helplessly at the combined sensations: the flick of Subaru's tongue across his earlobe, the light press of nails in the sensitive spots on his lower back. Timidly, he presses his mouth into the side of Subaru's neck, tasting his skin slowly, his eyes falling shut again with bliss... smoke and flesh, and the metallic tang of water... Distantly, he hears -- and feels -- the older man inhale sharply against his throat, and a shiver works through Subaru's body; he is faintly surprised by how much Subaru's response heightens his arousal, and he lightly nibbles the skin under his lips. Subaru's hips shift, and with wonder he realizes, through the shock of sensation that makes him quiver and gasp, that he can feel the other's arousal pressing beside his own.

Subaru shivers again, and then recovers his thread of motion, pressing kisses along the side of Kamui's neck. His hands sweep back up Kamui's body to his shoulders, and move out along the slim bones and thin skin of the young man's huge wings; pleasure rocks Kamui to his core, the nerves in that sensitive flesh tingling and burning, and he clings to Subaru as his knees begin to buckle. His wings stretch, quivering, to their full span for a moment, casting a ripple of shadow through this placeless place, flooded as they are with sensation and desire. He tilts his head back, his eyes closed and lips parted.

No sooner does Kamui think that he can't keep himself upright any longer but Subaru drops one arm to wrap it securely around his waist, and then bends the boy back slightly, supporting him and tilting him back along the wall. He follows the lines and pulse of Kamui's neck to his collarbone, and then down across the boy's shoulder, cascading until their position becomes a ridiculous contortion; he laughs, a soft, pleasant sound that warms Kamui inside, and straightens, gently nudging the younger man backward. Kamui is pliant and almost helpless under Subaru's hands, allowing himself to be led a little ways and seated on a smooth sort of ledge that might or might not have been there before -- not that it really matters. It is comfortable, and does not hinder the span of his wings, and as soon as he is perched on it Subaru is again leaning down to kiss and touch him; and the only thing in his world now is Subaru, his mouth and his hands, and his safety and gentleness.

As though to hold himself steady, Subaru drapes an arm over Kamui's shoulders as he moves down the boy's slender body, his lips almost cool on heated skin; the other hand falls to rest on Kamui's knee, grasping it gently, and Kamui grips the hand lightly in return. The older man's exploring mouth finds a nipple that is already hard, and kisses its nub, nudging it firmly with his tongue. Kamui gasps, arching his back so that his wings shiver, and finds himself whimpering Subaru's name between unsteady breaths; Subaru's eyes turn back to the boy's face, half-lidded as he murmurs his answer of Kamui's name. His arm gradually slips from Kamui's shoulders, settling around the small of his back, as he begins to move lower still, lightly nipping at the tender skin over the boy's stomach, the delicate touch making Kamui whimper and squirm.

Subaru leans back momentarily to search Kamui's face again, smiling reassuringly, and somehow Kamui finds his own lips curving on their own to answer it. Apparently satisfied that his young partner is well, Subaru moves once more, slowly sinking to his knees without giving up his contact with Kamui's body, until he can delicately kiss the knee his hand is not resting on. Kamui sighs faintly, and feels more than sees Subaru's answering smile, as another kiss presses higher on his thigh; muscles jump and twitch in his leg as those lips traces upward, finding their way to Kamui's hip. His breath is hot and startling as it brushes Kamui's erection, and the boy gasps, shuddering faintly with the burning ache of arousal that follows. His knees spread a little, less an invitation and more a reflex, though the meaning is clear either way, his body begging for what he cannot. That faint pulse of want has grown to a pounding tattoo, hot and crimson and overpowering, and he could not fight it even if he tried. His body seems to cry out for touch, trembling with the anticipation of the caress that might bring relief, might bring release...

The hand on Kamui's knee moves up his thigh, until it rests by his hip as well; Subaru sets his elbows on either side of where Kamui sits, loosely crossing his wrists behind the boy. He resettles himself, kneeling between Kamui's thighs, and again looks up, as though to either ask permission or offer reassurance. Kamui looks back down at him, his lips parted and eyes half-lidded, and he curls his hands around the back of the older man's neck, tenderly. "Subaru," he says again, softly, and it is gratitude, love, a plea, a caress. Subaru's smile widens, making him seem strangely young for a moment, and then the arms about Kamui's hips tighten... and Subaru leans down to brush a soft, wet kiss against the head of Kamui's erection.

And there is relief, yes... but mostly there is want, the sweet teasing burn of it almost painful. Kamui cries out softly, the sound seeming echoed by the low rustling that comes from behind him as his wings, like his body, stretch and arch. His head tilts back again, his breath coming in short, panting gasps; he is all but lost in sensations, of Subaru's tongue playing over the tip of his arousal through an open-mouthed kiss, of the fingers tracing mindless patterns on the skin of his lower back. He whimpers again, though it is struggling toward a full-throated cry at this point, and he doesn't know how long he will be able to keep quiet. Far beyond thought, he just concentrates on holding still and breathing for now; his hands move, thoughtlessly, to rest on Subaru's shoulders, bracing himself with that contact. And he waits.

It is slow, almost too slow, with the way every touch sets fire along his nerves and brings him millimeters closer to some edge he can hardly fathom. Subaru gradually takes him, easing the strongly pulsing shaft between his lips, his tongue gently stroking the underside of it and easily seeking out the most sensitive spots. Once he reaches as far as he can comfortably accommodate, he draws back and then takes it in again, building toward the beginning of a slow rhythm; Kamui is helpless to stop his hips from following, and he moans, arching his back almost painfully before he lets it relax. He can already feel his climax building up inside him, begging to be released, the intensity of pleasure spreading through his nerves like electricity, like a grassfire, directionless and senseless and ready to consume. Far beyond his control, his wings curl out and wrap around them both, forming a tangible boundary between this fire, this bliss, and everything else.

Some sound rises from Subaru as the great black fans close over him, something odd and sharp with a sort of need Kamui can only partly understand. The older man leans in farther, speed building as he yields to Kamui's urgency, his hands flattening against Kamui's back in a loose embrace as his lips hungrily caress Kamui's cock, his rhythm driving faster and harder until it drives that hot crackle into a rush of white noise urgency and Kamui can feel himself falling...

He comes hard, blindingly so, with a cry that is almost a scream wrapped around the curves of Subaru's name. His body rocks, stiffens, stretches and folds, as though he himself were a pair of wings, soaring, pressing the sky, taking him away from the earth and back again...

And finally, he exhausts himself and stills, breathless at flight's end. Strength gone, he curls himself down with almost unnatural elasticity to wrap his arms around Subaru's neck, rest his forehead on the top of Subaru's head. Only after a few moments does he realize that the warmth on his face is that of tears; but somehow, that is right too. Everything is. Everything here is just what he wants... and he is complete, and at peace.

Subaru allows this strange embrace for a moment, before at last drawing himself up and properly wrapping his arms around Kamui, cradling the exhausted teenager in their circle. "Kamui," he whispers in the boy's ear, and the affection in his voice seems to break something apart inside of Kamui, only so that it can be mended again.

He clings to Subaru as though his life depends on it, nuzzling his tear-streaked cheek into the older man's shoulder, as his wings settle back around him. And he searches for the words that can describe what's going on inside him, this aching that almost feels too good to hurt, this need that wraps around his soul...

"I love you," he whispers, and is surprised that this truth surprises him not at all.

Subaru nuzzles his hair lovingly, drawing out an involuntary sigh of contentment and of peace. "I know," he whispers. "I know. It's all right, Kamui." His voice seems to caress the name, as though finding it for the first time; and Kamui's heart expands until it seems certain that it will simply burst. "Kamui..."

So filled with joy he can no longer contain it, he pulls back just enough so that he can look into Subaru's eyes, and smiles radiantly, curling his hands around either side of the other's face. His thumbs stroke Subaru's cheeks lightly, seeking contact wherever he can find it, and he leans forward to kiss the older man, more deeply than he ever would have dared to before. When at last he has satisfied himself that he has touched and felt enough to hold him for now, he wraps his arms around Subaru again and snuggles close once more, murmuring something incoherent in his ear... and then, gradually, it seems that everything becomes incoherent, dissolving from sense and order into a darkening jumble. The white-and-crystal begins to darken, and the sound of the water becomes muted and flat, and the world slowly fades out like a radio station lost to distance...

And then he wakes up, blinking his eyes fuzzily into his dark room.

And once he's awake, he notices a lot of things all at once. Like, oh, say, the fact that he's sprawled halfway on top of Subaru -- uncomfortable enough in its own right, especially after what he was just dreaming -- and that he feels unusually good, and relaxed; and that there's a kind of, um, sticky... sensation... oh... oh, no... oh, god. Is it possible to die of embarrassment?

Maybe Subaru is still asleep. If there is a God and He has the slightest bit of mercy on teenagers, Subaru will be asleep. Please, please let Subaru be asleep.

Subaru isn't asleep. His breathing is much too even, and he's holding much too still. Kamui whimpers helplessly; he is blushing so hard it almost hurts, so hard he thinks his face must be glowing in the dark. So much for divine intervention.

He should really get off of Subaru. That would probably help matters considerably. Too bad he can't move. Or speak. Or breathe.

There is a long, very awkward silence. Not suprisingly, it's Subaru who finally breaks it; his deep breath and swallow sound very loud in the silent room. "Kamui?" he murmurs, hesitantly.

Kamui squeezes his eyes shut. Oh, how he wishes an enormous hole would just open up in the floor and devour him, or maybe that the Dragons of Earth would attack. Or just that something really distracting would happen. Pretty much anything would do. When he finally tries to answer "Yeah?" it comes out more as a highly undignified squeak, which does very little to make him feel better.

Subaru doesn't seem to know where to go from there, and he stalls by clearing his throat. "Are you... all right?"

That's a lot better than get off me, which was really what Kamui was expecting to hear, and he manages a slight nod. "...Yeah." Answering makes him realize that he can move again, and, feeling incredibly awkward, he moves himself carefully off Subaru and onto the bed, at a safe distance. Though at this point, he isn't entirely sure Kyoto would be a safe distance. "I'm -- really sorry," he chokes out, in a rushed whisper. With the boy's weight off him, Subaru moves to lie on his side so he faces Kamui; that doesn't help much either, considering just how little Kamui wants to look him in the eye right now. What if Subaru knows he was dreaming about him?

"It's... it's all right, Kamui," Subaru says softly. Cool fingers brush against Kamui's burning face; it'd feel good if he weren't so mortified. He opens his mouth, but can't seem to think of anything to say -- aside from about a hundred more apologies, that is. He closes it again, and after a moment Subaru sighs, and gently brushes hair out of Kamui's face. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No!" The word comes out a yelp, nearly cutting Subaru off, and Kamui stops, closes his eyes, swallows, and tries again. "No... but... if you want to, it's -- it's okay." He tries not to show it, but the thought of Subaru leaving now makes his stomach sink; if the onmyouji did go, Kamui doubts he'd be back. Subaru must be upset with him, mustn't he? Or at least too discomfited to want to sleep here anymore...

Subaru's hand cups his cheek, turning it upward. "I don't want to, no." Surprised, Kamui finally gathers the courage to meet Subaru's eyes -- and he's startled to find that the older man is smiling at him, like nothing's happened at all. "I like sleeping here with you. But I don't... want to make you uncomfortable."

...Make me uncomfortable?

"No... I mean, I... I'm all right." Kamui sighs, trying to make himself calm down. "You're not -- mad at me?" he adds, hesitantly. Subaru's first answer is a chuckle, and it's so kind that Kamui relaxes immediately.

"I would have to be pretty mean-spirited to be angry." He smiles, a bit wryly. "It's all right, Kamui. I... I don't really mind."

Kamui hesitates. "...Really?"

"Really," Subaru promises him solemnly, and then smiles broadly, sending Kamui's stomach for a gentle somersault; it's still hard to believe that he could deserve a smile like that. "Please, don't huddle all the way over there."

The last little bit of tension lets go, and Kamui even manages to smile back. He starts to wriggle back up to Subaru, more than happy to oblige him -- and then the movement reminds him of one small thing that needs taking care of...

"Um. Just a minute? I should probably... go to the bathroom first." And, cursing himself for blushing again, he slips out of the bed.

He doesn't hesitate to come back, though, and is relieved to find Subaru just as welcoming when he does. And, if nothing else, the sleep he returns to is sound.

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