gangasagar mela

Blue and white and gold, painting the top curve of the sky. He is winged, flying, tumbling, turning, wind rushing past his face and filling up his heart until it feels like it will burst. Everything is simple, clear, and sweet: only flight, and the exhilaration of flight, and the absence of consequence. He might as well be a bird, his understanding stripped down to only the mechanics of sky and gravity, a creature without regret or memory. Contentment is forgetting.

Wind fills his wings and pours into his body, a drinking in of light and air that caresses and rests him, filling him up with cloud and sky and sun. The light is warm, so warm, and as he soars closer and closer to it with pure yearning it becomes heat instead of warmth, and the heat bakes into him and all through him until it turns into something else altogether. Flying turns to falling, but there are familiar safe arms to stop him, and hold him, and touch... flying becomes a flying that is not flying, and soon his wings are grasping at the air in a different sort of pleasure. And it's Subaru, of course it's Subaru, and Subaru smiles at him, and kisses him, and touches him, and desire becomes a reality that might not be reality, but it doesn't matter, not now.

Some sense of something curious winds itself fleetingly around his mind, no sooner felt than it is gone; then sky and warmth and need flare all at once, and sense and logic fade into nothing but this moment, one instant after another. Craving friction, and heat, he finds both, and presses himself into their waiting silken arms, pushing himself toward the promise of release --

And then Kamui finds himself all at once awake and hard and squirming, disoriented in the dark room. It takes him a minute to make himself hold still enough to look around him; his cock is pressed, not quite uncomfortably, between his own overheated body and something almost as warm beneath him, and to stop rubbing himself against it is almost more than he can stand. It takes him a few panting, whimpering seconds of trying to think before he realizes that the something is, of course, Subaru's thigh. Not that this makes him feel much better.

Not again, damn it!

Blushing, he's just about to try to get up and to the bathroom as fast as possible when he notices, with a sinking stomach, that the worst has already happened: Subaru is awake. But... something seems strange, somehow, different from before, and it's enough to distract him for the moment from even being embarrassed. Subaru isn't just awake... He's --

Pinned underneath Kamui and staring blindly across the room, not moving at all, except for his harsh breath. Trembling faintly. Lined up at a slight angle to the boy sprawled on top of him, so that his hips are just under Kamui's and the boy's leg has tumbled between his, and that can't possibly be an erection that Kamui finally notices pressing into the curve of his hip, except it is.

...Oh.

Um.

Oops.

Much later, it will occur to Kamui that he could have dealt with this better. He could have thought, "Well, this is an awkward accident, I guess I shouldn't make it any worse," picked himself tactfully up off of Subaru, and gone to the bathroom to jerk off like he'd originally planned to, and everything probably would have been fine. He could have asked Subaru; just opened his mouth and said, "Do you want me to get up?" and dealt with whatever the answer might have been. He could have done any number of things, things that would have been much more mature and responsible and generally more like how a Kamui should behave.

Unfortunately, though, right now he's in no shape to think of any of them. Everything seems bizarre and foggy and unreal, and he's so hard and Subaru's so warm he can't hold still, and Subaru... Subaru... Subaru is hard too, and because of him, and it's like being in one of his dreams but awake to enjoy it; the heat pressed up against his hip makes it hard to think, makes him dizzy, makes him want, want to finish what he started, want to come. And really, in spite of whatever good intentions he might have had, there's just no way he can give this up now that it's been put in his hands. Or... well, wherever.

No way at all.

Don't think. If he thinks about it, he'll lose his nerve. He curls his hand around Subaru's shoulder, just to touch him, and squirms forward a little, pressing his thigh more firmly against Subaru's cock -- and his cock more firmly against Subaru's thigh. Subaru moans, weakly, and his teeth catch in his lower lip; he shudders, half pressing himself forward and half holding himself back, his brow creasing in a way that doesn't quite look like he's in pain. And Kamui finds himself just staring down at him, feeling like he can't breathe, or like he can't breathe fast or hard enough at least, and now Kamui's hips are rubbing up against Subaru in a rhythm that keeps getting faster, and he has no idea when that happened. It doesn't matter. So beautiful; he never could have imagined.

Don't think. Kamui whimpers, and fumbles out a hand to brace himself on the bed, getting better leverage. Friction has pulled Subaru's shorts tight around him, and it's easy to feel the shape and heat of his cock through the thin fabric as he wriggles against it; Kamui moans out loud this time, and presses his face into Subaru's shoulder. He feels feverish, like it could kill him if he doesn't get this out of him and cool down. He feels like his cheek will burn a hole in Subaru's shirt.

He jumps slightly when he feels Subaru's hands fumble up his back -- and then his gut twists abruptly with dread. This is it. This has to be it, he's really done it this time... Subaru is going to push him away, of course he is, he'll push Kamui off him and then get up and leave and never come back, not ever, and it's all Kamui's fault, how could he have been so stupid that he'd think --

Subaru groans, even growls, and all at once his hands go different ways and he seizes the back of Kamui's head with one hand and his ass firmly in the other. He pulls Kamui in tight against him, so close there isn't room to do much but writhe into each other, and that's what he does, rubbing his erection on Kamui's thigh with surprising force; Kamui gasps, and cries out a little too loudly, and forgets all about being shy as he grabs Subaru's hips and grinds back helplessly. God. He can't breathe. No question now, this is real, this is real and Subaru wants him right where he is, Subaru wants him, Subaru --

His orgasm surprises him a lot more than it should.

He lies still for just a minute, once it's over, shivering with aftershocks. The arm he's had his weight on is shaking, and he lets it collapse, settling him right on top of the older man; Subaru's t-shirt presses to his cheek, humid on his skin where he's been gasping and whimpering into it. And he takes maybe two breaths like that before wriggling up Subaru's body a little, propping up his outside knee, and pressing his leg firmly back into the hardness beneath Subaru's shorts.

Subaru shudders violently under Kamui, and whimpers; Kamui barely has time to worry that this has somehow become unwelcome in the last few seconds before Subaru starts to rock back against him, building quickly back up to the rhythm they had before. Subaru's face is turned away, pressed into the pillow, but there's something in the unbandaged eye that makes Kamui shiver hard and try to speed his pace. Want. For this, for him. Just thinking about it makes him feel like he's going to get hard again. He really hopes he isn't.

Grinding your leg against someone's cock is, to say the least, not the world's easiest or most graceful way to bring him to orgasm, and Kamui starts getting frustrated with it pretty quickly. He wants to do more; he wants more of that shiver and that look in Subaru's eye. Maybe -- maybe he could... use his hands, instead... But he only gets as far as trying to imagine reaching down and wrapping his hand around Subaru's erection, and then, blushing hard, he reluctantly gives up the idea. This -- whatever this counts as -- is one thing, but actually touching Subaru would be another, and not only does he really not have the nerve, he's afraid that if he pushed this that far, Subaru might make him stop. God only knows how even this much has managed to happen, and if all Subaru needs is a reason to say no, Kamui doesn't want to give him one. And maybe it's selfish, but if it is, he can't seem to be anything else right now.

Trying to distract himself, he puts his hands on Subaru's chest instead; Subaru arches shakily up into them, and Kamui looks at him curiously -- and then gasps a little without meaning to, when he sees Subaru staring back at him. His eye is sharp and bright, and there's want there, yes -- but also fear, which doesn't make any sense he can figure out. What is there to be afraid of now?

But he doesn't ask, and Subaru doesn't seem likely to tell him. He just swallows, and his hips keep driving up, with his gaze locked with Kamui's; his grip on Kamui's hair finally relaxes, and the hand that was there slides down over neck and shoulder to catch in the collar of the boy's t-shirt, before tumbling to the bed. Gooseflesh pricks up along the path it took, and Kamui shivers. Wishing Subaru would touch him just a little more... it couldn't be so bad, could it?

"Kamui..."

The sound of his name startles him, and he looks at Subaru with wide eyes -- then shivers, hard. For a second, he has a crazy urge to beg Subaru to say it again, but thankfully, it passes.

If he could just kiss Subaru, this would be heaven...

One of his hands moves anyway, up over Subaru's collarbone and throat and cheek, feeling warm soft skin and the faintest hint of stubble. He doesn't really expect Subaru to even notice, but the older man surprises him; he turns his head to first kiss Kamui's exploring fingers, and then to taste them, drawing one into his open mouth and sucking on it. Kamui gasps, and then moans loudly -- so that's how it would feel, if it were... oh god... -- and yes, he's definitely getting hard again now, and Subaru isn't giving him room to get himself under control. Subaru is rubbing against him much faster now, with a desperation Kamui never would have imagined he would see, breathing in high, hard gasps; he pushes his legs apart, and the hand on Kamui's ass pulls him in close between them, one thigh clasping his hip in place. And Kamui just does the only thing he can do in this position: he holds on tight, and strokes Subaru's lips, and gives Subaru everything he can.

When Subaru finally comes, it happens all at once, and it leaves Kamui breathless. One minute they're intertwined and writhing against each other, moving faster and faster as though they might run out of time; the next, Subaru squeezes his eye shut and cries out, and then arches into Kamui's thigh like he could bury himself there. From the look on his face, he could almost be in terrible pain, except for the little shudders running through his body and the spreading wetness under Kamui's hip, and his grip on Kamui tightens until it's hard to breathe... and then gradually, it relaxes, and so does Subaru. He sighs raggedly once, and then they both just lie there panting, in one big sweaty rumpled mess.

It's easily one of the best moments of Kamui's whole life.

After a minute, he tumbles off of Subaru and back onto the bed, with a little whoof sound; then he wraps his arms tightly around Subaru's shoulders, and presses his tiny dazed smile into the older man's shirt. And Subaru sighs again, then wraps warm, secure arms around him and hugs him fiercely, and suddenly Kamui has to blink back tears because this is perfect. He feels so good, so warm and so loved and so safe, and this is everything he's wanted for so long it seems like forever. He never thought he could be this happy.

He just hopes Subaru feels as good right now as he does. ...Come to think of it, though, Subaru is being awfully quiet. Why hasn't he said anything? Is he mad?

Is he mad? Maybe he's mad. Probably he's mad. Who wouldn't be, if some dumb, bratty kid, whom they'd been generous enough to sleep with because he said he had nightmares, just molested them out of nowhere? God, what was he thinking? What's going to happen now? Stupid, stupid, arrogant, selfish, give him an inch and he takes a mile...

"I... I'm sorry..." he whispers, fear making his arms rigid around Subaru. He wants to look up at the older man, but finds he doesn't dare. "I didn't... I -- I wasn't... I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have -- Are you mad at me? Please..."

Silence. His stomach twists around like a hooked fish. Then, finally, Subaru answers: "No, Kamui. I'm not mad."

Instead of being comforting, that just makes Kamui feel worse; Subaru doesn't say the but... that comes after the statement, but Kamui can hear it anyway, hanging in the air like a threatening stormcloud. At least as terrified now as he was contented just a few minutes ago, he finally makes himself look up at Subaru. "What's wrong, then?" he asks, trying not to let his voice crack.

Subaru looks down into his face, and reacts instantly; his eye softens, and he curls his arms firmly around Kamui. That helps, a little. "It's a long story," he murmurs, pressing his face against Kamui's hair. "But it's not your fault."

Kamui makes a little I'm-not-convinced noise. "What isn't?"

Subaru takes a deep breath, then releases it on a long sigh. Kamui can almost hear him collecting his thoughts. "I... I've told you about Seishirou-san. Do you remember?" Kamui isn't sure how to respond, but he isn't given time to; Subaru seems determined to take care of the subject once and for all, after all the times he's tried to avoid it. "I loved him, and I thought he loved me. But I was misled..." He sighs again, just a little. "Kamui, I don't want to... take more than you're ready to give. To me or anyone. I know how desperately you want someone who's capable of feeling as strongly as you do. I did, too. I would give you anything you asked of me, Kamui; I would do anything in my power to make you happy. But I don't..." His voice drops a little. "I don't want to accept something from you that you may never be able to give again. I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want to take advantage of you. I don't want... I just want you to survive, Kamui."

By the time Subaru stops talking, Kamui finally feels like he can breathe again. Is that it? He'd thought... well, he'd thought a lot of things.

"I remember," he says softly, after a moment. He knows; doesn't Subaru realize that? It seems like the older man forgets, sometimes. "It was... kind of the first thing I knew about you. And I understand all that, I really do. I..." He pauses for a minute, trying to work out what he wants to say. "I hate that he hurts you... but I understand that you love him. That's just the way it happened; it doesn't upset me or anything. That wouldn't make any sense. I just wish he made you happier." He sighs a little, and snuggles tighter into Subaru's chest. "You're my friend," he says simply. "I want you to be happy, because being around you makes me happy. Not many things do, lately. And -- really, I guess I'm getting pretty good at getting hurt... but... you aren't somebody who hurts me. Ever. If it weren't for you, it'd be a lot worse..."

He takes a deep breath of his own. "So -- please don't worry about taking advantage of me. If anybody's been doing any taking advantage, it doesn't look like it's you." He blushes a little, and tucks his head down. "And, um, I'm sorry. I hope I didn't... well, I shouldn't have done that. But -- I'm not hurt. I'm actually really, really happy. And I can't imagine anything you could do that would hurt me."

When Kamui runs out of words, Subaru's silence suddenly seems very loud; he has to struggle not to panic again, in the seconds that follow. Then a hand touches his chin, and turns it up to look into Subaru's eye. The look in it is strange, hard to read, but somehow soothing.

"I wish things were different, sometimes," is all Subaru says, though -- leaving Kamui to wonder just what he means by that. "You're very dear to me, Kamui."

Kamui smiles up at Subaru; suddenly it feels like his heart will just fill up like a balloon and float away. "I'd change a lot of things, if I could," he says, softly, "but I don't think this is one of them."

"Anyway... I'm sorry."

Subaru chuckles faintly. "That was, um..." It's hard to see in the darkness, but he might be blushing. "That was actually very good. Very good."

He blushes a little himself -- well, that was the last thing he was expecting to hear -- and resists the impulse to say, It was? Really? "I thought so too," he admits, instead.

That soft laugh comes again; it feels so good to hear it. "However, ah... I think this rather calls for a shower." He kisses Kamui's forehead, then carefully untangles himself and sits up, wincing as he does. Kamui wriggles back a little, trying not to look disappointed.

"...Oh. Okay." He sits up, and watches wistfully as Subaru stands up -- and a little more intently when Subaru arches his back and stretches. He's so beautiful --

"Well?" Subaru asks, abruptly; Kamui jumps a little, guiltily, and blinks.

"What... Oh!" He blushes a little, feeling stupid and shy. He wouldn't have thought -- "Oh. Um. ...Okay."

Subaru grins at him, as he climbs off the bed -- something as rare as it is charming. Kamui decides to look at that instead of at Subaru taking off his shirt. "Unless that, ah, would make you uncomfortable."

"Oh, no, it's okay!" Kamui smiles -- a little nervously, maybe -- and starts struggling with his own shirt, which has gotten badly twisted around at some point. Never mind how. "It's faster that way, right?" Subaru answers with just a small, sly smile (Kamui tries not to gulp), and then he ducks into the bathroom; behind him, light pours suddenly into the bedroom through the open doorway, too-bright and painful. And after a moment, Kamui takes a deep breath, leaves his pajama pants in a puddle by the bed, and follows.

Subaru has already turned the water on and is testing it with one hand when Kamui slips into the bathroom; he turns in the boy's direction, and answers Kamui's shy smile with a warm one of his own. The bandage that's been around his eye lies in a heap on the toilet tank, replaced with a small, most likely waterproof plastic patch that Kamui's never seen him use before. He can understand why it would be useful, though. Just as this starts to feel really awkward, standing around naked under hard fluorescent light -- and trying not to worry about where this is going -- Subaru makes a soft sound of satisfaction and turns back to him, beckoning with his hand. Kamui smiles, shyly, and steps past him into the edge of the shower, waiting for Subaru to join him before getting under the water. And he tries really, really hard not to stare. It's a losing battle, though.

The water is almost a little warmer than he would have chosen, and steam makes the white walls seem to ripple, like they're in some jewelled, flowing cave. Somehow, that effect seems weirdly familiar, though Kamui can't place it; he doesn't think of it for long, though, because Subaru is smiling at him and ruffling his hair and also wet and naked and very close to him and suddenly he needs all of his concentration for keeping his knees steady. Not that Subaru seems to notice, thankfully. The older man just grabs the nearby bottle of shampoo and tugs Kamui a little closer -- something that is both wonderful and very alarming, considering -- and works a palmful of it into Kamui's hair, cupping his head in both hands. Kamui squints up through the water, charmed, and then closes his eyes and smiles.

"You look pleased," Subaru's voice murmurs, just loud enough to be heard over the water; Kamui opens his eyes to find him smiling helplessly, and tries not to blush. He touches Subaru's wrist, impulsively, mostly just to prove to himself that this is really happening

"That feels really good," he confesses. Subaru chuckles, and rinses his hands.

"It's supposed to."

Kamui ducks his head under the water, too, turning his head from side to side as he lets the soap wash out. He blinks at Subaru for a minute -- should he? oh, why not -- and then gets some shampoo and cautiously repeats the favor. Even though, damn it, he has to stand on tiptoe a little. Being short is a pain.

Subaru bends down a little so he can reach, smiling; after a minute, he reaches up to gently guide Kamui's hands through his hair, and his eye closes with obvious pleasure. The look on Subaru's face kind of reminds Kamui, before he can stop himself, of the one that was there a few minutes ago, in a much different position... oh, don't think about that now, stupid, just don't. And by the way, kissing Subaru? Not such a good idea right now. Really.

He lets out a small, nervous laugh, and looks down, trying to distract himself. ...Except, no, down isn't so good either. Although admittedly, it is distracting...

"What's funny?" Subaru asks, and his voice sounds a little odd. Kamui looks back up hastily, and finds he's been caught; Subaru is looking at him, a faint flush in his cheeks. Kamui blushes too, shoves wet hair out of his eyes, and tries to compose himself.

"Um. Nothing. It's just..." He looks away from Subaru's gaze, starts to look down, remembers not to, looks up, and starts to get flustered. "I -- I'm not sure what I should do."

Subaru laughs softly; Kamui tenses a little, then relaxes when he realizes it's friendly, not mocking. "I'm sorry," the older man says, and offers a smile before he reaches for the soap and sets to washing himself. Kamui shifts, trying to stay out of his way as much as possible. He's not sure of either what he wants to do or exactly what's expected of him, so he just hovers uselessly, feeling awkward and shy.

Finally, Subaru steps back out of the water, and reaches absently for Kamui, as if to soap Kamui as well -- that seems like a little bit much, and Kamui's heart thuds alarmingly. Subaru catches himself, though, noticing Kamui's expression, and Kamui isn't entirely sure whether to be relieved or disappointed. "Forgive me," he says, gently. "I seem to have a tendency to forget myself around you." He holds out the soap for Kamui to take; but now it seems strangely awkward, almost out of place.

Kamui blushes a little, and shakes his head. "No, it's all right." His gaze settles somewhere around the base of the older man's neck, which seems like mostly neutral territory; he's much too aware of his hand brushing Subaru's as he accepts the soap. "I mean, I'd rather that than for you to be uncomfortable..."

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Subaru smile. "I'm not uncomfortable with you, Kamui," he says; his voice is still kind. It's always kind... "You... know that, don't you? I couldn't be."

Kamui smiles back weakly, risking another quick look into Subaru's eye; he nods a little. He must sound so stupid to Subaru, sometimes. Why does the older man still put up with him, anyway? "Of course... like I couldn't with you."

Still smiling, Subaru reaches out and takes the soap back from Kamui; then he takes the boy by his shoulders and gently turns him around, which confuses Kamui for a minute until Subaru starts to soap his back. And God, it feels good -- so much so that he forgets to be nervous. He didn't even know he had some of those muscles, let alone that they've been that tense... if he's not careful, he's going to just melt right here.

"It's funny," Subaru says, after a minute. He sounds reflective, but with his back turned, Kamui can't read his expression "There aren't many people in the world I could claim to know as well as I know you."

Kamui considers this for a moment. "Yeah. It's... kind of nice." He wriggles his shoulders a little. "Knowing that somebody really understands, I mean."

"It is," Subaru agrees. The soap on Kamui's back moves aside, finally, replaced by a hand that first strokes away the lather and then just strokes; he suppresses a shiver -- and oh, it's a good thing he's not facing Subaru -- and closes his eyes blissfully. When Subaru stops, he has to bite his lip to keep from protesting. "And that's why... I don't want you to feel bad," Subaru says, slowly. "About what happened tonight. You did nothing wrong."

Kamui flushes a little, again, as he half-turns to accept the soap; his face is going to hurt by the time this night is over. "Um, I'll try," he mumbles, staring at the shower wall. "But..." I still shouldn't have done it, should I? "I just wish that... wouldn't happen."

And when he finally looks at Subaru again, his reward is a smile that makes him instantly feel like everything is all right again, that there's really nothing to worry about at all. How can Subaru always do that, anyway? Just one smile, and suddenly everything's fine, nothing is Kamui's fault, and the whole world seems manageable again. He wishes he knew the secret, just so he could do it for Subaru, too.

"You're young," Subaru says; his tone says he's content to leave it at that. Kamui sighs a little, and sets down the soap, letting the water rinse the last of it away.

"I guess." But it's no excuse, his mind adds, to itself.

Still with the echo of a smile, Subaru looks Kamui over questioningly. "Are we done, then?" he asks. Kamui smiles back; there's wet hair in his eyes again, and he pushes at it irritably. How does it do that even in the shower?

"I think so," he says, reluctantly -- he kind of wishes this didn't have to end. But Subaru nods, and reaches over to shut off the water, and Kamui just tries not to sigh.

Stepping out of the shower, Subaru pulls a pair of towels down from the shelf and hands one to Kamui; he takes it with a mumbled 'thank you' and attacks his hair with it. As Kamui tries to look like he's not watching, the older man also picks up the heap of bandages, and reaches down to snag the shorts he had been wearing before -- and then makes a face, holding them gingerishly in front of him as he leaves the bathroom. Kamui pretends not to notice, but he can't help blushing furiously, and tries to hide it in his towel.

When he's more or less dried off, Kamui settles the towel around his hips and follows back to the bedroom -- well, staggers, really. All of a sudden he's really sleepy. He finds Subaru already re-bandaged and sitting on the bed, mostly dry as well, and just buffing his hair absently with his own towel. He smiles at Kamui again as the boy comes in, and Kamui returns it, a little sheepishly. "You look like you're about to fall over."

"Just about," Kamui admits, and plops on the edge of the bed with the towel still wrapped around him. Subaru, apparently satisfied, carefully folds his own towel and sets it aside, and then seems to consider something for a minute before turning back to Kamui.

"Would you, um, mind terribly if I just slept like this?" he asks, almost casually. Kamui blinks -- Subaru keeps surprising him tonight -- and then shakes his head with a tiny smile. Mind? What does Subaru expect him to say; no, actually, I think I'll pass up the chance to sleep naked with you?

"Oh, no -- I don't mind at all," is what he says instead... though he does try not to seem too eager. Subaru grins again, as if to reward him, and Kamui's heart flutters to itself.

"Thank you." He pulls himself back to where he'd been peacefully sleeping before, doing his best to make sense of the tangled sheets; still smiling, he extends an inviting arm to Kamui. "Come on, it's late," he says, good-humoredly. "And you're about to pass out." Kamui offers another rueful smile, and tosses his own towel thoughtlessly onto the nearby chair, then crawls over to settle happily under Subaru's arm. It feels even warmer, like this...

"I'm glad that -- things are okay," he whispers, after a minute. Hoping Subaru will know what he means, so he won't have to explain. Subaru meets his eyes seriously, and nods.

"They are." He looks into Kamui's face for a long moment, then, so intensely it almost makes the boy uncomfortable; he studies it as if he were going to draw it... and then, finally, Subaru leans forward and kisses him, softly but not at all chastely.

Kamui breathes in sharply, and his eyes go wide; this can't possibly be happening, but it is, and it's real and it's so good he doesn't want it ever to stop. Whatever's happened tonight -- remember -- whatever happens afterward, it's worth it, all worth it, just for this. What he's wanted so much, for so long... His eyes close, and he wraps his arms around Subaru's shoulders, shyly, and it's like a dream, like the best dream he ever had. But even better, because it's real.

It seems like it either lasts a very long time or a very short one, but either way it's nowhere near long enough. Still, at last Subaru breaks off the kiss, and gives him a soft smile. "Now sleep," he commands gently.

Kamui looks up at him for a moment, his eyes wide and probably telling Subaru a lot more than he'd like them to... and then he breaks into a broad, dizzy smile that's all he can say, and all he needs to. Something in him feels strange now, all shaken up and softened and pulled apart, and he has an idea he knows what it means, but Subaru doesn't need to know about that. He never does. So when the older man lies back down, Kamui just lies down in his arms; and he wills himself to do what Subaru told him to, and go to sleep.

And eventually, it works.

And somewhere, in an unexplored country far beyond the waking world, a stream flows through a grassy field; and the sun shines down over everything with a light that is the softest pearl grey. By the stream, cradled by the soft turf and brushed by warm, shifting breezes, Kamui sits with his back to a sun-warmed rock, his wings curled out in gentle curtains to either side. When the breeze picks up, it catches them softly, fluttering their thin skin so that silver shadows play on the grass. Occasionally their trailing edges brush across Subaru, lying with Kamui's lap as his pillow, hands folded comfortably behind his head; he smiles, half-lidded, and lightly strokes the soft limbs with his bare fingertips, and Kamui answers the smile with his own. Neither of them speaks, but it doesn't seem necessary now, not here. It is good, very good, to be just two boys, of the same age now and never of the same age, safe and at peace and alive and together... and for the moment, this moment doesn't need to be anything more than what it is. They are still and quiet, listening to the sound of the brook; and when Kamui rests his hand on the back of Subaru's, he feels smooth, unmarred skin beneath his palm.

They remain there until well past dawn, and nothing and no one disturbs their rest.

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