Book 6

	Tatsumi: OUR DEPARTMENT IS POOR AND IT IS COMICAL.
	Gushoushin, one of them, I don't care: Yay, we have a new library! Almost exactly like the setup for a humorous side story!
	Hisoka: Hey, guys. Nice new library. Mind if I fall asleep in it?
	Gushoushin: ...Sure, go ahead, it's not like anyone else in the department can read.
	Tsuzuki: CASE IN POINT
	Gushoushin: OUT.
	Tsuzuki: But... but I brought hydrangeas! ;_;
	Gushoushin: Well...
	Tsuzuki: Oh, hey, and have you gotten in any copies of Shopaholic And Sister? Because my hairstylist said --
	Gushoushin: OUT.
	Terazuma: So. I see you are at the library... Tsuzuki.
	Tsuzuki: Yes I am... Terazuma. I thought I would check out some... books.
	Terazuma: LET'S FIGHT
	Tsuzuki: OKAY
	New Library: squish
	Hisoka: YOU GUYS, I AM TRYING TO READ
	Tsuzuki and Terazuma: h-holy
	Hisoka: ...zzzzzzzz
	Tsuzuki: Aww, it takes a lot of energy to yell in a font that big. I'll take him home. AND TUCK HIM INTO BED IN A REAL GAY WAY :D :D :D
	Matsushita-sensei: In case you were wondering what the point of all this was.
	Hisoka: I'M HOT
	Tsuzuki: ...I can't, it's too easy. How about instead you just comically misinterpret me when I say I like you?
	Hisoka: Yeah, that's always a good one.
	Saya and Yuma: MUSICAL NUMBERRRRRRRR :DDDDDDD
	Hisoka: what the shit
	Saya and Yuma: Look, Hisoka! We got you a pretty new dress!
	Hisoka: ...is it even worth getting upset at this point? ...YES. DIE.
	Tatsumi: What the hell is going on in here?
	Tsuzuki: Enforced drag.
	Tatsumi: Ah. Thursday again. Go see the chief, you have to go to Okinawa where by the way, it is hot.
	Hisoka: Oh, so it's going to be that kind of book. BY WHICH I MEAN EVERY GODDAMN BOOK.
	Tsuzuki: Can Yuma and Saya come too?
	Tatsumi: No.
	Tsuzuki: BUT I WOULD THINK THAT SOMEONE WHO IS SO IN LOVE WITH ME WOULD --
	Tatsumi: OH GOD OKAY JUST SHUT UP
	Tsuzuki: It sure is hot here!
	Hisoka: I sure am unconscious!
	Chizuru, which for the record is NOT spelled 'Chidsuru,' I'M LOOKING AT YOU VIZ: Hi, Tsuzuki! Need a place to store that corpse?
	Tsuzuki: Always!
	Hisoka: bler
	Tsuzuki: Oh, good, you're awake! Are you okay? Will getting in your personal space real bad help?
	Hisoka: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, I WASN'T LOOKING AT YOUR LIPS. I mean. I'm fine.

Aside:

Fig 1.1

	Chizuru: Anyway, now that we've established that I work in Okinawa and wear a police uniform for no good reason, LET'S GO PLAY AT THE BEACH!
	Tsuzuki: Funny how we are both unmoved by the girls in bathing suits.
	Hisoka: Yes. That is funny.
	Tsuzuki: BUT NOT AS FUNNY AS A GAG WHERE WE THINK WE ARE GOING TO A FANCY HOTEL BUT ARE IN FACT NOT.
	Chizuru: Aw, cheer up. This other one gets cable, and is haunted!
	Tsuzuki: ...haunted?
	Chizuru: ...I meant to say diamond-rated?
	Hisoka: Well, it definitely feels diamond-rated.
	Chizuru: Yeah, the ghost rumors have been keeping away their business for a while, and now the guy who owns the huge hotel right in front of it is trying to buy it up. And this all matters to you because... uh... LOOK OVER THERE!
	Rika: Welcome to the decrepit and haunted Miyagi Inn, smoking or non-sm -- oh holy crap, Chizuru! I heard you were dead!!
	Chizuru: Yeah, uh... ha ha ha! Ha ha! Hoooooooo! Me be dead! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I'm not.
	Rika: I didn't say you --
	Chizuru: Well, I'm not.
	Rika: Yes, of course, obviously you're --
	Chizuru: Will you lay off it, Rika, I'm not dead. ...so how've you been?
	Rika: Kinda haunted! You?
	The Owner Of The Neighboring Hotel, Rufus Shinra: Did I mention I know Muraki?
	Nakijin: ...Several times today, actually.
	Rika: So, would you all like to stay in my decrepit and haunted hotel?
	Chizuru: YES WE WOULD VERY MUCH, AND TO TRY TO SOLVE ITS TERRIBLE MYSTERY. WOULDN'T WE LIKE TO DO THAT? EVERYONE?
	Tsuzuki: Sure! Although I have to say, you might want to reconsider that advertising slogan.
	Hisoka: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WE CAN'T eh fuck it it's too hot, sure, we'll help.
	Tsuzuki: :D!
	Hisoka: Oh, shut up.
	Rika: Did I mention I'm a lesbian?
	Tsuzuki: That's funny, you don't look Greek.
	Everyone: MAKEOVER MAKEOVER, MAKEOVER MAKEOVER, MAKEOVER! FOR THE CRAPPY HOTEEEEEEL!
	Hisoka: Uh, hey guys? Ghost.
	Tsuzuki: I'LL GET IT!
	Not There Ghost: no you won't
	Tsuzuki: ...yes, I will.
	Not There Ghost: won't
	Chizuru: Well, hell, I guess we better go shopping. I'll carry the groceries with my superstrength! Because that's definitely a good use for it.
	Hisoka: Can anyone explain to me why I couldn't have been a fortune teller not in drag?
	Saya and Yuma: Do you really want to know the answer to that question?
	Tsuzuki: Hey, I want to help. Wait, I can cook! ...wait, no I can't. Wait, Tatsumi can cook, he'll help me! ...wait, no he won't. ...FINE, I'LL JUST SPEND THE WHOLE BOOK NOT WEARING PANTS.
	Hisoka: Yeah, that's a good idea. I mean. ... I WASN'T LOOKING AT YOUR LIPS!!

Aside:

Fig 1.2

	Hisoka: YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!
	Rika: So, hey, Chizuru, this hotel can be a home for you, and if you ever want to come live here, that's okay. I have plenty of living space. It could be a good place to live. My living room is yours. And all.
	Chizuru: ...uh. Th-thanks.
	Rika: ALIVE LIVE ALIVE. Whoops, sorry, hiccup.
	Tsuzuki: Whoops, there goes the ghost alarm! Come, Byakko! It's a seaside ghost, it's probably tuna-flavored!
	Byakko: You better mean that this time.
	Hisoka: Uh, guys, I don't think it's really a ghost, it's --
	Tsuzuki and Byakko: GHOST GHOST GHOST, HERE GHOST GHOST :D :D
	Hisoka: ...oh, whatever.
	Nakijin: Hello. I don't suppose I can get a reading done? I've been going to Julia on seventh street but I don't know, I just think she's getting too commercial.
	Tsuzuki: Hoo, feisty ghost.
	Chizuru: PUNCH GHOST IN FACE!!
	Tsuzuki: Now we're talking!
	Byakko: Oh, hey, the ghost is a little rat from Gensoukai. HOW YOU DOING, LITTLE RAT?!
	Shiisaa: PLEASE DON'T EAT ME
	Byakko: ...well, that all hinges on the tuna issue. What are you doing here, anyway?
	Shiisaa: I fell out of a wormhole! Which surely won't become a plot point later.
	Tsuzuki: Ha ha! It sure won't.
	Tsuzuki: Well, I guess that ties everything up. The ghost went to be Chizuru's pet after I made Byakko spit it back out, Rufus Shinra's butler dude went to fulfill his Broadway dreams, and Hisoka made a small fortune and has his own website now!
	Hisoka: And you were useless, as is right and proper.
	Tsuzuki: Ha ha! It sure is.
	Rika: So like I was saying a few pages ago, Chizuru, if you ever want to come stay in my less decrepit, less haunted hotel, you can do that. Even if you're, you know, not alive. If you know what I mean.
	Chizuru: I have no idea, actually. This sure is gay, though.
	Rika: It sure is! Look at the way we're standing!
	Tsuzuki: Let's go, Chizuru, you can get it on with the Greek girl some other time. RIGHT NOW IT'S NAKED O'CLOCK!!
	Most: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
	Hisoka: suicide
	Matsushita-sensei: OH CRAP, WE GOT TIME FOR ONE MORE SIDE STORY
	Watari: Hey, Tsuzuki, I made a sex change potion! Wanna try it out?
	Tsuzuki: Only if you get me drunk.
	Watari: Well, I figured that was a given.
	Tsuzuki: Oh no! It has turned us into tiny children instead!
	Watari: And now you fall over a lot and the Count is making horrible pedophilia jokes to you and the kid can pick you up by the scruff of your neck!
	Hisoka: This... this is the happiest day of my life.
	Gushoushin: Right there with ya.

Aside:

Fig 1.3

Matsushita-sensei: IT'S OVERRRR!